We joined the gym over by the new house, even though we aren't living there yet (Is it the 15th yet??). Nice gym, free towels, brand new equipment...it's like a Cadillac gym compared to the old one near my house...that gym would have to be a Volkswagon...functional but not pretty. Of course, the new one costs more...but so be it. Sometimes the niceties are worth it. Besides, the next nearest gym to that house is 5 miles further...
So, on the days we work, we work out in the Volkswagon gym, and on our days off, we drive across town and work out at the Cadillac gym. My son and roommate do weights and some cardio and lately I have just been doing cardio. 3 miles a day on the treadmill...trying to decrease my time each time. Currently up to a 40 minute 3 mile jog/walk. When I can jog the whole thing, I am signing up for a 5k.
Yesterday we went to the gym, the boys did the boy thing and I hit the treadmill. Hard for me...that was my 40 minute day. Not sure what all the guys did, I was too high on my own accomplishment. Going to try for 39 minutes today.
Somewhere along the way I made a decision not to lift weights until I was under 200 pounds again. Even though I know I need to lift, it seems that I just don't have time to get in enough cardio (to burn the fat) and lift on most days...but yesterday was different. Not only did I do some pull ups and dips (on an assisted machine, I am not superwoman yet!)...I did some ab work too. Come out abs, I know where you are hiding!!
We then came home to brown rice, veggies and chicken, all cooked together like a stir fry, some srirachi and a tiny touch of low sugar, low salt teriyaki sauce and more water. Nestled down and watched the Biggest Loser (poor Shay and Daniel) ate dinner...and then ended up going back to the Cadillac gym! Did some weights and another mile on the treadmill.
My roommate then made us protein shakes out of some kind of protein powder, a banana and milk..it was good, until he told me it was 300 calories! Fine for guys trying to bulk up...but not for a girl who is trying to debulk! (Is that a word? If not, it should be!)
Did I mention? 4 lb weight loss this week. And I quit smoking on Monday.
A good week :)
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
Letter from an Ex-Boyfriend
Amazing. 5 years after the fact, today I received a letter from an ex-boyfriend. A not very nice one either. Seems he found my blog through mutual friends. He wrote me an email with some derogatory crap in it, and said some not very nice things about my weight, my new life, my mother's death....basically it was pure hatred that poured out in that letter...
He wanted to get in my head. And, honey, if you are reading this, be aware that you did. But not in the way you intended. Now I am a woman on a mission. Fuck off, I'll see you in 45 lbs. Or better yet, I won't. I will not waste my time on dead relationships or your emotional and mental deficiencies.
3 miles on the treadmill today...40 minutes. Food was decent, though not great.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned :D
He wanted to get in my head. And, honey, if you are reading this, be aware that you did. But not in the way you intended. Now I am a woman on a mission. Fuck off, I'll see you in 45 lbs. Or better yet, I won't. I will not waste my time on dead relationships or your emotional and mental deficiencies.
3 miles on the treadmill today...40 minutes. Food was decent, though not great.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned :D
Thursday, November 5, 2009
More Revelations
I am back on track. For now. Hopefully for good. I had an amazing revelation today. I have spent the last 4 months so busy taking care of the people around me that I forgot the most important part....taking care of myself.
While I know that it is an easy trap to fall into, I forgot how insidiously it begans...miss the gym for this...be too busy doing that to cook good food for yourself...the list goes on. We all know the rap. And even though I know it, I fell right back into it.
This revelation came today at the gym. We decided to go back after a week of missing...we are all gaining weight like there is no tomorrow. It really sucks. So, we made time today to go to the gym. I am proud to say that I did 3 miles on the treadmill, alternating jogging and walking...guess I haven't backslid as far as I thought. But I have still backslid. 212 lbs. Ouch. That's a 14 pound gain in 2 months. Maybe one month. Too much either way.
So now I need to reintroduce myself to myself. I need to go to the gym every day (or at least most days). I need to make better choices in food, and I need to get my life together.
Todays choices: 6 inch veggie sub with avocado and cheese, water, more water, some chili peanuts and some wasabi peas. I will have a salad with beans for my dinner and a larabar for dessert. Maybe a few more peas and peanuts later...
3 miles on the treadmill in one hour.
It's good to be finding myself again.
While I know that it is an easy trap to fall into, I forgot how insidiously it begans...miss the gym for this...be too busy doing that to cook good food for yourself...the list goes on. We all know the rap. And even though I know it, I fell right back into it.
This revelation came today at the gym. We decided to go back after a week of missing...we are all gaining weight like there is no tomorrow. It really sucks. So, we made time today to go to the gym. I am proud to say that I did 3 miles on the treadmill, alternating jogging and walking...guess I haven't backslid as far as I thought. But I have still backslid. 212 lbs. Ouch. That's a 14 pound gain in 2 months. Maybe one month. Too much either way.
So now I need to reintroduce myself to myself. I need to go to the gym every day (or at least most days). I need to make better choices in food, and I need to get my life together.
Todays choices: 6 inch veggie sub with avocado and cheese, water, more water, some chili peanuts and some wasabi peas. I will have a salad with beans for my dinner and a larabar for dessert. Maybe a few more peas and peanuts later...
3 miles on the treadmill in one hour.
It's good to be finding myself again.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Back on the Homestead
Wow. What a week or 2. Amazing journey, stress galore, hectic schedule...it never seems to end.
The last 3 days were spent moving my roommate out of his apartment. His lease ended on the 31st. Boxes, packing, moving trucks, storage units...craziness within itself.
The next 7 days will be spent finishing packing my house and putting most of it in a storage unit...more craziness.
I am up 12 pounds. Considering I can't even find my cooking utensils and trips to the gym are out of the question time wise....yeah, this is where I say "It isn't bad"...screw that, it's awful. 210 pounds again. 10 more days of eating out. Probably around 14 more days of no gym....it sucks.
I can't miss anymore work...I needed a mental health day and took 3....had a mini nervous breakdown. I do feel much better...
Still jumping through hoops for the mortgage company. Copy this, sign that, forgot to get you to sign this, get a copy of that...we all know paperwork is my downfall...
Good thing it's already approved or I would be a nervous wreck rather than just a stressed out mess :D
But I am home. Internet again! Now if I can just find the time, to blog, to exercise...and if I can find a pot to cook in!
The last 3 days were spent moving my roommate out of his apartment. His lease ended on the 31st. Boxes, packing, moving trucks, storage units...craziness within itself.
The next 7 days will be spent finishing packing my house and putting most of it in a storage unit...more craziness.
I am up 12 pounds. Considering I can't even find my cooking utensils and trips to the gym are out of the question time wise....yeah, this is where I say "It isn't bad"...screw that, it's awful. 210 pounds again. 10 more days of eating out. Probably around 14 more days of no gym....it sucks.
I can't miss anymore work...I needed a mental health day and took 3....had a mini nervous breakdown. I do feel much better...
Still jumping through hoops for the mortgage company. Copy this, sign that, forgot to get you to sign this, get a copy of that...we all know paperwork is my downfall...
Good thing it's already approved or I would be a nervous wreck rather than just a stressed out mess :D
But I am home. Internet again! Now if I can just find the time, to blog, to exercise...and if I can find a pot to cook in!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Epiphany
Sorry it's been so long. I have been "off the grid" for a couple of weeks. Working on emotional issues, life issues and trying to get this damn house deal done.
Update on the house: We are jumping through all the hoops for the mortgage company. Closing has been set back to November 10...several more weeks of my life in upheaval...
Update on the weight: I have gained 8 pounds, to 206...but I did get back to the gym 3 days ago, and have lost 3 of that so far. Not too much damage, but still not good.
Update on the diet: Started eating relatively healthy again 3 days ago. Kind of tough since all of my cooking utensils are packed, and about 1/2 of my roommate's kitchen is packed..but we are making it work.
Now for my epiphany:
Running away. I run away from problems, or ignore them and hope they go away. I never realized this in myself until I had a bit of a personal issue the other night...and had to fight the intense urge to gather my belongings and run...to anywhere but here.
Gain 10 pounds? Ignore it, it will go away. We all know where that leads...to 240 pounds for me. Might have been 300 or 400 if I had of continued to drown my issues with food, instead of being the woman I want to be and facing them straight on.
Need to grieve? Become as busy as you can, throw your life into an amazing upheaval, and be too disconnected to care. Right now, I think that is what I have done. And while I know that buying this house and moving is the right thing to do in the long run, I sometimes wonder if this isn't a form of running away for me, once again. I am never at my house, I spend most of my time at my roommate's apartment. Not sure if it is because I don't want to be alone, because I hate my house, or because...oh hell, I don't know, but I don't spend any time here. Maybe it is my way of emotionally detaching from a house where I spent the last 13 years with my mother. Maybe I just need a psychiatrist.
Want "love"? Pick the most emotionally unavailable person you can. That way when things go wrong, you can run away without any feelings of guilt. That's the way you stay single for your whole life, and never have to deal with any of those issues that come with a relationship. This is one I am an expert at. It is a pattern with me, and one that has been seeming to continue. This is one pattern that I intend on breaking at some point. I do not want to be old and alone by myself. In the same breath, though, I can say I would rather be alone than with someone who is totally wrong.
I pride myself on my independence, and lately that seems to have been tossed away. It does feel good to have a friend that I can rely on, but by giving up my independence I feel that I have given up a part of myself. I guess I need to find a happy medium. Maybe at some point, I will.
I have neglected blogging, not only due to lack of time, but because I didn't want to dig that deep inside myself to see why I was self destructing. It's too easy to go back to the old way of life...if it hurts, feed it, medicate it, or ignore it. If it doesn't hurt, rejoice by feeding it, medicating it, or even ignoring it. And the reason I say ignoring it is because many times in my life when I had something worth rejoicing, I tamped down that emotion. Maybe I didn't feel worthy, or maybe I felt guilty that I was rejoicing when I should really be taking care of other things...who knows. Not blogging is another form of running away. In all reality, while I love my blogger friends, the main accountability is to myself...and that is one of the things I was running away from.
The great thing about my roommate's apartment is there are very few distractions. I have a lot of time to think. My usual forms of "running away" are taken from me. No internet access, no lamp in the living room for reading, none of the daily shit I use to ignore what is going on in my head and my heart. For a while, I used this to just shut down, and shut out everything, but now it is making me think. And while thinking is painful, I believe that it is the way out for me. I have to get through the emotional baggage that I carry to get the weight off, to live a healthy life and to be complete.
While my blogging may still be spotty for a while, please realize this: I am here, I am as well as I can be for right now, and I AM DONE RUNNING AWAY. I need to face all this head on, work through it and get my life on a different track. I do say different, because "back on track" doesn't work here...the old track was not the best place to be. Hopefully the new track will be much better.
No more running.
Update on the house: We are jumping through all the hoops for the mortgage company. Closing has been set back to November 10...several more weeks of my life in upheaval...
Update on the weight: I have gained 8 pounds, to 206...but I did get back to the gym 3 days ago, and have lost 3 of that so far. Not too much damage, but still not good.
Update on the diet: Started eating relatively healthy again 3 days ago. Kind of tough since all of my cooking utensils are packed, and about 1/2 of my roommate's kitchen is packed..but we are making it work.
Now for my epiphany:
Running away. I run away from problems, or ignore them and hope they go away. I never realized this in myself until I had a bit of a personal issue the other night...and had to fight the intense urge to gather my belongings and run...to anywhere but here.
Gain 10 pounds? Ignore it, it will go away. We all know where that leads...to 240 pounds for me. Might have been 300 or 400 if I had of continued to drown my issues with food, instead of being the woman I want to be and facing them straight on.
Need to grieve? Become as busy as you can, throw your life into an amazing upheaval, and be too disconnected to care. Right now, I think that is what I have done. And while I know that buying this house and moving is the right thing to do in the long run, I sometimes wonder if this isn't a form of running away for me, once again. I am never at my house, I spend most of my time at my roommate's apartment. Not sure if it is because I don't want to be alone, because I hate my house, or because...oh hell, I don't know, but I don't spend any time here. Maybe it is my way of emotionally detaching from a house where I spent the last 13 years with my mother. Maybe I just need a psychiatrist.
Want "love"? Pick the most emotionally unavailable person you can. That way when things go wrong, you can run away without any feelings of guilt. That's the way you stay single for your whole life, and never have to deal with any of those issues that come with a relationship. This is one I am an expert at. It is a pattern with me, and one that has been seeming to continue. This is one pattern that I intend on breaking at some point. I do not want to be old and alone by myself. In the same breath, though, I can say I would rather be alone than with someone who is totally wrong.
I pride myself on my independence, and lately that seems to have been tossed away. It does feel good to have a friend that I can rely on, but by giving up my independence I feel that I have given up a part of myself. I guess I need to find a happy medium. Maybe at some point, I will.
I have neglected blogging, not only due to lack of time, but because I didn't want to dig that deep inside myself to see why I was self destructing. It's too easy to go back to the old way of life...if it hurts, feed it, medicate it, or ignore it. If it doesn't hurt, rejoice by feeding it, medicating it, or even ignoring it. And the reason I say ignoring it is because many times in my life when I had something worth rejoicing, I tamped down that emotion. Maybe I didn't feel worthy, or maybe I felt guilty that I was rejoicing when I should really be taking care of other things...who knows. Not blogging is another form of running away. In all reality, while I love my blogger friends, the main accountability is to myself...and that is one of the things I was running away from.
The great thing about my roommate's apartment is there are very few distractions. I have a lot of time to think. My usual forms of "running away" are taken from me. No internet access, no lamp in the living room for reading, none of the daily shit I use to ignore what is going on in my head and my heart. For a while, I used this to just shut down, and shut out everything, but now it is making me think. And while thinking is painful, I believe that it is the way out for me. I have to get through the emotional baggage that I carry to get the weight off, to live a healthy life and to be complete.
While my blogging may still be spotty for a while, please realize this: I am here, I am as well as I can be for right now, and I AM DONE RUNNING AWAY. I need to face all this head on, work through it and get my life on a different track. I do say different, because "back on track" doesn't work here...the old track was not the best place to be. Hopefully the new track will be much better.
No more running.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Life in the Fast Lane
Wow, it's been a week. I am so sorry that I have been neglecting my blog and GAG, and for that matter in commenting and reading blogs. Life has shifted into the fast lane, and I just can't make it stop right now. I have stolen a few minutes to at least post a quick update.
The house deal trudges on...we are now waiting for our appraisal and for the money to get here from my 401k. I hate waiting for anything. Patience has never been my strong suit. Packing continues. We have mostly packed up my roommate's apartment, and a lot of my house too. Seems like that is all we do anymore, pack and then eat out. Pack some more...eat out. I know that this crazy hectic schedule will end, but in the meantime, it has set me on edge. I really hate change. Even when it is for the better. Actually, maybe I don't mind change, but I hate transitioning. This starting a new life thing is for the birds, unless you can just start it. Right now. No waiting for house closings, no packing, nothing...I know intellectually that it will all be over in about 3 weeks, when the house closes...but the waiting game is not bringing out my best nature.
A few things that have happened that I find interesting in the last week or so:
1. My internet addiction seems to have taken care of itself. I do know that I used to spend so much time online because I had to be home for my mom, but now it seems I am never at home. And if I am, the last thing I want to do is turn on my computer. Usually I am here for about 10 minutes and then have to get ready for work, or I have to get ready to go somewhere...while I really want some time to relax, I know it is not now...maybe around Christmas :D
2. I am learning to feel loved and lovable again. I really didn't realize I had turned that part of myself off for many years. This was deep for me. It has taken me time to realize that there really are people out there that care about what happens to me. I always knew my family did, but the amount of people offering to lend a hand in my life right now is quite staggering. In turn, this is bringing out my better self...the one I had tucked away many years ago. This woman inside me hasn't seen the light of day for a long time, and I am just starting to adjust to her overt presence. I will blog more about this later, it deserves a post of it's own. What a revelation!
3. While weight loss is still important in my life, right now it is taking a backseat. I know I am only halfway to my goal, and seem to be sticking there, but right now I cannot make it a priority. It seems that once I get everything packed, and get moved, then I will be able to continue my journey full force. There are just too many distractions right now...and my life is in too much upheaval to get to the gym regularly and to cook healthy meals regularly. I am practicing portion control to some extent, which is probably why I am maintaining. Right now I am content with that. The new house is right by a beautiful park. I cannot wait to go walking and jogging there. A Wii in the family room soon. Maybe even a treadmill and a weight set. But for right now I will maintain my gym membership...there is still work to do in that area, and my roommate and son love going. I also haven't been on a scale for 2 weeks...good in some ways, bad in many others.
4. When people say that moving is one of the biggest stresses that you deal with in life, I now believe them. Packing my house has been fraught with emotions. I am packing a house that I lived in for 13 years, with my mother and son. And while my son is going with me, sometimes I wonder how much of it I am going to miss...Bad part, every time I start packing stuff, I start crying. It's a good thing that I have a great roommate who does it for me...and keeps me sane during these trying times. I do have to admit, it was kind of funny today...the memory room...it needs packed and I am no where near ready to go through my mother's things yet again. So C. (my roommate) volunteers to pack it up some for me. He climbs over all of his stuff we have stored in there....and the first thing he picks up is a white box. Says "I don't know what this is, but it's already packed".....it was my mother's remains :D When I told him, the look on his face was priceless. It actually made me laugh hard enough that packing that stuff up wasn't too painful. There is still more in that room, but now I feel strong enough to face it. I did put my mother's remains somewhere that he wouldn't inadvertently pick them up again, but it was still hilarious. I am finding that even in the darkest cloud, there is a silver lining, and there is still room for laughter.
I am sure there is more for me to blog about, but that's all the time I have today. And I actually didn't have this time, but I took it anyway. I do miss blogging and pouring my emotions out...it seems to be the healthiest thing for me right now.
Good thing I have people in my life who care to listen.
Thank you bloggers and friends. Right now, you and they are the best thing I have going.
The house deal trudges on...we are now waiting for our appraisal and for the money to get here from my 401k. I hate waiting for anything. Patience has never been my strong suit. Packing continues. We have mostly packed up my roommate's apartment, and a lot of my house too. Seems like that is all we do anymore, pack and then eat out. Pack some more...eat out. I know that this crazy hectic schedule will end, but in the meantime, it has set me on edge. I really hate change. Even when it is for the better. Actually, maybe I don't mind change, but I hate transitioning. This starting a new life thing is for the birds, unless you can just start it. Right now. No waiting for house closings, no packing, nothing...I know intellectually that it will all be over in about 3 weeks, when the house closes...but the waiting game is not bringing out my best nature.
A few things that have happened that I find interesting in the last week or so:
1. My internet addiction seems to have taken care of itself. I do know that I used to spend so much time online because I had to be home for my mom, but now it seems I am never at home. And if I am, the last thing I want to do is turn on my computer. Usually I am here for about 10 minutes and then have to get ready for work, or I have to get ready to go somewhere...while I really want some time to relax, I know it is not now...maybe around Christmas :D
2. I am learning to feel loved and lovable again. I really didn't realize I had turned that part of myself off for many years. This was deep for me. It has taken me time to realize that there really are people out there that care about what happens to me. I always knew my family did, but the amount of people offering to lend a hand in my life right now is quite staggering. In turn, this is bringing out my better self...the one I had tucked away many years ago. This woman inside me hasn't seen the light of day for a long time, and I am just starting to adjust to her overt presence. I will blog more about this later, it deserves a post of it's own. What a revelation!
3. While weight loss is still important in my life, right now it is taking a backseat. I know I am only halfway to my goal, and seem to be sticking there, but right now I cannot make it a priority. It seems that once I get everything packed, and get moved, then I will be able to continue my journey full force. There are just too many distractions right now...and my life is in too much upheaval to get to the gym regularly and to cook healthy meals regularly. I am practicing portion control to some extent, which is probably why I am maintaining. Right now I am content with that. The new house is right by a beautiful park. I cannot wait to go walking and jogging there. A Wii in the family room soon. Maybe even a treadmill and a weight set. But for right now I will maintain my gym membership...there is still work to do in that area, and my roommate and son love going. I also haven't been on a scale for 2 weeks...good in some ways, bad in many others.
4. When people say that moving is one of the biggest stresses that you deal with in life, I now believe them. Packing my house has been fraught with emotions. I am packing a house that I lived in for 13 years, with my mother and son. And while my son is going with me, sometimes I wonder how much of it I am going to miss...Bad part, every time I start packing stuff, I start crying. It's a good thing that I have a great roommate who does it for me...and keeps me sane during these trying times. I do have to admit, it was kind of funny today...the memory room...it needs packed and I am no where near ready to go through my mother's things yet again. So C. (my roommate) volunteers to pack it up some for me. He climbs over all of his stuff we have stored in there....and the first thing he picks up is a white box. Says "I don't know what this is, but it's already packed".....it was my mother's remains :D When I told him, the look on his face was priceless. It actually made me laugh hard enough that packing that stuff up wasn't too painful. There is still more in that room, but now I feel strong enough to face it. I did put my mother's remains somewhere that he wouldn't inadvertently pick them up again, but it was still hilarious. I am finding that even in the darkest cloud, there is a silver lining, and there is still room for laughter.
I am sure there is more for me to blog about, but that's all the time I have today. And I actually didn't have this time, but I took it anyway. I do miss blogging and pouring my emotions out...it seems to be the healthiest thing for me right now.
Good thing I have people in my life who care to listen.
Thank you bloggers and friends. Right now, you and they are the best thing I have going.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Busy, Hectic, Frantic and Fun
I know it's been a few days. Well more than a few, but I am back. Back home, sitting in my house. Let's recap the last few days:
1. Crazy busy with house stuff. Paperwork out the butt. Well, I knew that was going to happen, I really just want it to all be over with. Get the tenant's lease over (Oct. 31st), get the professional cleaners in (Nov. 1st) and get me moved. I am anxious and excited, but really I just want it over so I can relax, enjoy my new house and have a more grounded feeling than what I do now.
2. Crazy busy with packing. My roommate has lived in his apartment for 2 or 3 years...lots of stuff. He has to be out of the apartment a couple of days before we close, so we are slowly but surely moving most of his stuff to my house. We have been loading his SUV and my car with stuff every day (or almost everyday) and hauling it across town. Then we will start to pack up my house. 13 years of crap. Much of it will go in the garbage or to charity, I think...if I had more ambition, I would have a huge garage sale...I still may do that.
3. Crazy busy with my company in town. A much needed break. We have been playing tourist and seeing the sites. We even went to the Grand Canyon. When he leaves on Saturday, I will take the time to post all we did, what we have seen, and what we have eaten...great fun! We are even talking about a joint vacation to NYC sometime in the future...he flew over it and wants to see more, and I have never been. Would be great fun! Of course, there will be pictures too!
4. Food, weight loss and exercise have all suffered to some extent. While I am doing a lot of walking and box-carrying (from the move), I am eating almost as much, and every meal is in a restaurant. While I am trying not to over eat, and doing a pretty good job, I had to use my free pass with GAG this week...I have gained a pound, which generally isn't enough for me to consider using the pass, but I got home at 11:30 Tuesday night....to late to weigh in.
Just wanted to let you all know that I am still alive, and that for the time being, real life is being lived...all of my online activities have been curtailed. For someone like me, who spent the last 10 years living on the internet, this might actually be a very positive thing.
People used to ask me how I found so much time to be on the internet...well, it was simple. I didn't know if my mom was going to be well or sick, so I really never made any plans...I didn't go out much, and basically lived the life of a hermit. Maybe not a hermit. But I did let her illness dictate my life. I do not regret it, nor am I angry about it. It just was what it was. Now that my life is turning more towards people I can touch, speak to and enjoy in person, I just have less time online.
Does this mean I will quit blogging? NO. I find that the people I meet from blogging are just as "real" as I am. But it has curtailed the other online hobbies and businesses I had. I love those guys, but right now I am enjoying "having a life".
The "aha" moment that I was spending too much time online was when I started crashing at my roommate's place. He has no computer and no internet. It was amazing to actually sit down and watch a movie or a TV show with him and my son. To eat dinner with them. To just sit and talk. And to realize that I was "jonesing" for my internet fix...
Yes, it's an addiction folks. I can now add another to my list. Internet. A good way to shut off the real world and not deal with issues you have. The one thing that may have saved me is this blog...and yes, I know it's on the internet. On this blog, I pour it all out there. It makes me think. And the people I meet are "real", even if I don't actually see them.
I am now going to cut my internet obligations down to the bare bones. No more web design. I do not need the extra few dollars I was making anymore (since I have a roommate), and it is too time consuming. No more random surfing, unless I am really really bored and everyone is asleep. New computer rules:
1. Take care of online business on a daily basis, so it doesn't take several hours every month (in one chunk of time).
2. Limit of 1 hour of blogging every day.
3. No more time consuming random surfing, unless everyone is asleep and all real life chores are taken care of.
4. No web design, no new projects (unless they are for me or those VERY close to me)
Time to live a life. Time to get moved. Time to start fresh. And time to make some changes. The times, they are a changin'.
1. Crazy busy with house stuff. Paperwork out the butt. Well, I knew that was going to happen, I really just want it to all be over with. Get the tenant's lease over (Oct. 31st), get the professional cleaners in (Nov. 1st) and get me moved. I am anxious and excited, but really I just want it over so I can relax, enjoy my new house and have a more grounded feeling than what I do now.
2. Crazy busy with packing. My roommate has lived in his apartment for 2 or 3 years...lots of stuff. He has to be out of the apartment a couple of days before we close, so we are slowly but surely moving most of his stuff to my house. We have been loading his SUV and my car with stuff every day (or almost everyday) and hauling it across town. Then we will start to pack up my house. 13 years of crap. Much of it will go in the garbage or to charity, I think...if I had more ambition, I would have a huge garage sale...I still may do that.
3. Crazy busy with my company in town. A much needed break. We have been playing tourist and seeing the sites. We even went to the Grand Canyon. When he leaves on Saturday, I will take the time to post all we did, what we have seen, and what we have eaten...great fun! We are even talking about a joint vacation to NYC sometime in the future...he flew over it and wants to see more, and I have never been. Would be great fun! Of course, there will be pictures too!
4. Food, weight loss and exercise have all suffered to some extent. While I am doing a lot of walking and box-carrying (from the move), I am eating almost as much, and every meal is in a restaurant. While I am trying not to over eat, and doing a pretty good job, I had to use my free pass with GAG this week...I have gained a pound, which generally isn't enough for me to consider using the pass, but I got home at 11:30 Tuesday night....to late to weigh in.
Just wanted to let you all know that I am still alive, and that for the time being, real life is being lived...all of my online activities have been curtailed. For someone like me, who spent the last 10 years living on the internet, this might actually be a very positive thing.
People used to ask me how I found so much time to be on the internet...well, it was simple. I didn't know if my mom was going to be well or sick, so I really never made any plans...I didn't go out much, and basically lived the life of a hermit. Maybe not a hermit. But I did let her illness dictate my life. I do not regret it, nor am I angry about it. It just was what it was. Now that my life is turning more towards people I can touch, speak to and enjoy in person, I just have less time online.
Does this mean I will quit blogging? NO. I find that the people I meet from blogging are just as "real" as I am. But it has curtailed the other online hobbies and businesses I had. I love those guys, but right now I am enjoying "having a life".
The "aha" moment that I was spending too much time online was when I started crashing at my roommate's place. He has no computer and no internet. It was amazing to actually sit down and watch a movie or a TV show with him and my son. To eat dinner with them. To just sit and talk. And to realize that I was "jonesing" for my internet fix...
Yes, it's an addiction folks. I can now add another to my list. Internet. A good way to shut off the real world and not deal with issues you have. The one thing that may have saved me is this blog...and yes, I know it's on the internet. On this blog, I pour it all out there. It makes me think. And the people I meet are "real", even if I don't actually see them.
I am now going to cut my internet obligations down to the bare bones. No more web design. I do not need the extra few dollars I was making anymore (since I have a roommate), and it is too time consuming. No more random surfing, unless I am really really bored and everyone is asleep. New computer rules:
1. Take care of online business on a daily basis, so it doesn't take several hours every month (in one chunk of time).
2. Limit of 1 hour of blogging every day.
3. No more time consuming random surfing, unless everyone is asleep and all real life chores are taken care of.
4. No web design, no new projects (unless they are for me or those VERY close to me)
Time to live a life. Time to get moved. Time to start fresh. And time to make some changes. The times, they are a changin'.
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